The Reuben Sandwich

The Reuben Sandwich

The Reuben is a staple within American sandwich-culture.  The classic Reuben sandwich is a corned beef sandwich with Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing, all grilled between two slices of rye bread.  It is a staple sandwich of delicatessens across the United States, and it is the state sandwich of Nebraska.

It is amazing what a sandwich can do.  As the crusty exterior enters your mouth, you can't help but to savor the first bite with your tongue's warm, tender embrace.  The sweetness of the Russian dressing and sauerkraut contrasts with the tanginess of the rye bread to create a flavor explosion in your mouth.  You feel the need to keep it in your mouth for as long as possible, so as to save it from the perilous journey through the digestive canal.  You want to eat it so bad, but you know Reuben doesn't deserve it.

As you finish savoring the first bite and finally swallow, you look down at Reuben, only to see him in excruciating pain.  Tears of Russian dressing runs down its face and the corned beef presents a frowning pattern.  You want to stop, but you just can't resist.  You keep taking bite after bite until there is nothing left.  You hear screams coming from your midsection as your small intestines try to fight against indigestion from the sauerkraut.

You can't believe what you've done.  You just murdered the sandwich, and you begin to realize how many traits you share with Jeffrey Dahmer.  But you don't care.  You eat another one.  Another one.  Another one.  Sandwich after sandwich becomes victim to your endless hunger.  All you can do is laugh and eat more as DJ Khaled eggs you on.  There's no more excuses.  By the 30th sandwich, there is no explanation to why you did it.  The first one sated your hunger.  Every sandwich after that was meaningless to you.  Your blood-lust consumed you, and you consumed them in return.  You monster.